SOAP!

So Samantha is giving me a run for my money almost every day of the week. Well yesterday was one of those days. She was mad at me and calling me names, probably because I gave her the wrong kind of crackers. She called me "stupid head" and "idiot" several times. I tried the sweet, patient mom voice first. "It is not acceptable or nice to talk to people that way Sammie." Well that didn't work. Then I gave her a time out. That didn't work either. Then I thought "maybe I'm giving her too much negative attention" and just locked myself in my room, only to have her kicking my door and yelling "you are an idiot" as loudly as she could. Finally I just marched that girl into my bathroom and said "if you are going to talk dirty and you won't stop, then I will just have to wash your mouth out with soap." Well things didn't go as I thought they would, to say the least. She started freaking out and gagging on the soap and you know how that worked out. She vomitted all over the carpet just two steps from the bathroom. And guess what was in her stomach at the time....half of a Hershey's Milk Chocolate Bar! Now that and red gatorade are my top two things I never want to clean out of carpet again. Of course my husband got mad at me for "making her barf'" and I felt loads of Mommy guilt all on my own. I guess I should just give up...she can just keep biting people and calling them names until the natural consequences catch up with her. I figure eventually someone will bite her back or call her names until she realizes it's not such a good idea. So much for parenting a stubborn child!